Chai Ki Dukaan …

There is a plain ol' "chai ki dukaan" (tea-shop). The USP of this place is the kinds of tea they prepare - masala tea w/milk, plain tea, lemon tea, ginger tea. On occasion, they can also whip up some inspired ginger-lemon tea.

This "chai ki dukaan" consists of a "Maalik" (owner), "bhai" (chief tea-maker), and four "Chotus"(tea-servers). Maalik takes the orders, Bhai prepares the tea, While the 4 chotus serve them.

Additionally, Maalik is responsible for handling the cash register, Bhai for coming up with the various tea variations, and the 4 chotus are responsible for mopping up any spills, and cleaning the tea cups without breaking (well, atleast not too many) of the cups.

One day - a man strolls-in ... Maalik can see, from experience that this man is rich. He drives a fancy car, talks into a fancy-looking cellphone, and has two seemingly bratty youngsters with him. The man has a flat tire, and while he is looking for someone to fix it, Maalik asks if he would like to order some tea. The man is content with plain ol' tea, but Maalik goes into his sales pitch of selling the best tea made in the area, so the man decides to order some exotic chai tea latte. Maalik is happy, and figures he can double the price of the tea, by giving it an exotic name. So he asks Bhai to prepare some "chai tea latte". Now Bhai is an awesome tea-maker, but even he doesn't know the meaning of "chai tea latte". However, before he can open his mouth to put his foot in it, Maalik shushes him and explains that he only needs to make the normal milk tea with a dash of ginger. Grumbling about people who don’t know the first thing about preparing tea trying to make a simple task complex, Bhai complies.

Now since this is a rich customer, Maalik orders 2 of the Chotus to get a table ready, and ensure that all the tea cups are sparkling clean. Chotus wonder – how can a 5 year old teacup possibly look sparkling clean, especially when they have just have some lemon and ash and a bucket of water to clean them in? However, seeing that Maalik is in no mood to be argued with, they meekly set about their task.

Soon the tea is ready, and set out before the customer. He sips it and is happy -
Maalik sees this as a golden opportunity to sell him some more tea, and decides to explain all the various beverages (teas) that he sells in his teashop. In his enthusiasm, Maalik also tries to offer tea to the youngsters with the customer.
Promptly, one of them asks for a ThumsUp float and the other asks for a mango milkshake. Now Maalik is stumped. He has never ever heard of a ThumsUp float or a mango milkshake in his life! But he knows that he has just spent the better part of an hour waxing eloquent on the many qualities of his teashop, and all the beverages that he & his able team can whip up.

Petrified that he is way out of his league, Maalik quickly confers with Bhai – who admits that he knows nothing about a ThumsUp float, but guesses that a mango milkshake requires mango & milk. He explains to Maalik that if he can get him some mangoes, he will try his hand at making it.

Maalik calls one of the other Chotus – who has so far been sitting in a corner scrubbing some pots, and asks him to run down to the market and buy 2 mangoes and return ASAP. Now Chotu (3), has never seen a mango in his life. Maalik explains what a mango looks like as best he can, and after reprimanding chotu for not being better informed, sends him on his way.

In the meanwhile, the other Chotu(4) – is asked to figure out how to make a ThumsUp float. Chotu (4) tries asking the neighborhood paan tapri, and the sabzi-wala as well – but no luck. No one knows what it is. Even Bhai admits to being flummoxed. Since Maalik has warned Chotu (4) that he better come back with an answer or be prepared to lose his day’s pay – Chotu (4) is frantic for an answer. Desperation makes him bold, and in a last ditch effort – he hesitantly asks the youngster who requested for the drink, how he would like his ThumsUp float. The youngster, incredulous that a cook who doesn’t know such a drink exists – looks at him and says – “with vanilla ice-cream” of course! All along, Maalik has been talking about his team of expert mixologists, so the youngster has no way of knowing that Chotu (4) essentially just cleans the tables and vessels.
Happy to receive some answer, Chotu (4) lets out a sign of relief, and runs to Maalik to inform him that a ThumsUp float needs vanilla ice-cream.

In the meanwhile, Chotu (3) returns with the mangoes. However, they are not the ripe mangoes that Maalik had explained, but rather raw ones. Chotu (3) explains that those were the only ones available for the money he was given. After berating Chotu (3) for being a hopeless negotiator, Maalik gives those mangoes to Bhai for his milkshake. Bhai freaks. How is he supposed to make milkshake with semi-ripe mangoes ? Maalik tells him to double the amount of sugar and make the drink. As this is happening, the youngster who requested for the milkshake comes by and asks if he can have some whipped cream and raisins in his milkshake too. Now Bhai is raving. He threatens to quit the job. He is after all, a tea-maker and now he is being asked to prepare some weird exotic drinks. Maalik, does a quick take on the potentially explosive situation and promises Bhai the much needed, long awaited vacation soon – provided he prepares this well. Bhai – enticed by the thought of spending long leisurely days away from the tapri, agrees grudgingly. Knowing that he now needs to procure raisins and vanilla ice-cream, and that the customers have been waiting for a while – Maalik orders Chotus 2 & 3 to get the ice-cream, raisins & ThumsUp1 from the nearest store, and even lends them his bicycle for the same. Chotus 2 &3 are thrilled, and jump at the opportunity.

As luck would have it, the store is out of ThumsUp. They have to settle for a Pepsi instead. After cycling a distance, Chotu (2) realizes it is not all that easy to pedal away in the sun, and switches places with Chotu (3). Huffing and puffing, they get back with the ice-cream, Pepsi & raisins. The raisins are quickly added into the milkshake and sent out.
Alas, due to the sun, some of the ice-cream has already started melting, and the Pepsi is warm. Without thinking too much about the drink, Bhai hurriedly dumps the ice-cream & Pepsi into a glass and asks Chotu (1) to serve it out before it melts any further.

The customers, now rather irritated at having to wait so long for his drinks, change their mind & order. They refuse to drink either the milkshake or the ThumsUp float.

Instead the customer asks Maalik for the recipe of the “chai tea latte”, and the exact quantity of the ingredients that need to be added into it. In addition to this – he asks for a complete list of the places where Maalik procures his milk, tea, mangoes and other supplies. He tells Maalik that he needs to train his entire team to be certified “mixologists” and not just tea-makers.
Chotus witnessing the conversation, shake their heads sadly. Each one, is re-running the part he played in making the drinks in his mind, and they all look at each other and commiserate - at a great team effort that amounted to nothing. They take back the milkshake and the ThumsUp(Pepsi) float, and tell Bhai that they are now going to aim for certifications in ‘mixology’ …

In our daily transactions - I see the occasional ray of humor, and this was an attempt to share it.
Over the years - an insight into the working of a typical software organization led me to form the analogy. Please note – the above story was intended to relieve your stress and laugh a little. It was not meant to degrade or poke fun at anyone.